The Art Of Loving

Fromm opens by arguing that any theory of love must begin with a theory of human existence itself. Unlike animals, he says, whose attachments are primarily instinctual, humans have transcended nature while remaining part of it. This separation from nature creates an essential dilemma: Humans cannot return to their original state of instinctual harmony. Fromm uses the biblical metaphor of being thrown out of paradise to illustrate this irrevocable separation, stating that humans can only move forward by developing reason and finding a new human harmony.

Fromm explains that human separateness creates unbearable anxiety. When individuals become aware of their isolation, mortality, and helplessness against nature and society, they experience this separation as a prison. The awareness of being separate, having a limited lifespan, and existing without choice leads to intense anxiety that threatens to become mental illness if not addressed. This anxiety drives humans to seek ways to overcome their separateness. Fromm illustrates this concept through the biblical story of Adam and Eve, interpreting their shame after eating from the tree of knowledge not as embarrassment about physical nakedness, but as recognition of their separateness and difference from each other without yet having learned to love.